We All Have Addictions: Which Will You Fuel? 

This may be a controversial topic and I welcome healthy conversations about any topic.  I have dealt with addiction issues in my past. I have used my past experiences to help me in my trail running endeavors. We all have addictions, but which ones do we fuel?  If I were to ask you about personal addictions, we will think of alcohol, drugs, or pornography. These are all addictive, but so is eating food, working out, spending money, and even lying. While we can get ourselves in trouble with anything that we do out of moderation, we can also use addiction to power us and make us stronger and more resilient runners. 

Balance with My Goals and Morals    

I look at my choices and sometimes it’s as simple as not watching that one more episode of my favorite treasure hunting show, where they haven’t found anything significant in the past 10 years. Making that positive choice to not feed my negative electronic addiction and focus on sleep. Eating healthier, exercising more, meditation and being present when I have my kids are all positive areas where I feel my addiction. I need to ensure that I am constantly checking in to see if my life and decisions are in balance with my goals and morals.  

The Good Addictions 

Don’t get me wrong, the good addictions, if left unchecked, will lead to injury and possibly the end of a running era. This is something I learned the hard way. In 2020 when COVID hit, I was working 14-16 hours a day, teaching my kids while the schools were closed, and still found time to get my training in for The Bear 100. That only left about 4 hours of sleep a night. At the time I thought it was impressive and would share how amazing the human body is. In reality, I was running my body into the ground and eventually my back gave into the pressure with sciatic nerve pain, loss of use, and eventually a herniated disk.    

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The End of Running

It could have resulted the end of running for me, which was what the doctors said. I had fully accepted that I would never run again. After two years of no running and not being physical at all I decided that I needed a change. I have been hiking since October and I am slowly building my endurance. I am even able to run for 10-miles of a 15-mile adventure at my new (ultra shuffle) top speed. While I don’t know how many miles I have left on my back. I plan on slowly training up and preparing before signing up for any race.

Badger Mountain 100

My current plan is to train for the 2025 Badger Mountain 100. I grew up in Richland, Washington and most of my family still lives up there.  If I get one more race, I want to show my family and friends what this sport is all about, in my old stomping grounds. I am also excited because I can bring my kids and they can watch me race. Every run and every workout are about having fun and enjoying every mile. While I may not break PRs, I already feel stronger on my climbs than I ever have. One step at a time, I am on my way back. Don’t get me wrong, I still fight the desire to sign up for races almost daily.  

Feeding the Good Wolf 

If you haven’t heard about Yassine Diboun, he is a sober ultrarunner out of Portland and one of the nicest guys around. Yassine is also a running coach as a so-owner of Wy’east Wolfpack. He talks about “Feeding the Good Wolf” on The Freetrail Podcast with Dylan Bowman at about the 49:00 mark. Yassine shares a Cherokee legend in which “an elder is talking to a child and says that every person within them has two wolves that are in constant opposition every day. One wolf is the good wolf which represents positivity, kindness, and love. The other one is the bad wolf, which represents negativity, anger, resentment, and greed…and the child says, “well, which one wins?” and the elder simply states, “the one that you feed.” Every moment, you can choose which wolf you want to get stronger.  Great words to live by with training or in life. We all have addictions, but it is what choose to fuel that makes us. 

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