A Different Hard: My Speedwork Journey

A New Direction

Sometimes the biggest lessons come from the hardest moments. After standing at mile 82 of Moab, puking and exhausted, I realized something unexpected – I’m capable of so much more. The emotions hit me in waves for weeks after – a mix of disappointment, frustration, and surprisingly, hope. After three years of training for what was supposed to be a massive 2024 season, including a thousand racing miles and an attempt at the Triple Crown of 200-milers, I’m doing something different. I’m stepping back from ultras to discover what else I can do. This is a different hard.

Embracing Speed

Twice a week, you’ll find me at the track doing workouts I never imagined would be part of my training. Pyramid intervals push me to find new gears, starting slow and building to an intense peak before gradually coming back down. Progression runs teach me to embrace discomfort, getting faster with each mile instead of settling into the comfortable ultra pace I know so well. And those 800m sprints? They’re teaching me that being uncomfortable for a few minutes can be just as challenging as being uncomfortable for 30 hours.

Finding a New Kind of Vulnerable

I started running late, at age 25 in 2018. Even after years of ultras, I still battle imposter syndrome. But track workouts? They’re bringing up a whole new kind of vulnerable. Having the courage to push hard on these intense days isn’t easy. Each interval forces me to face a different kind of fear – not the fear of darkness or loneliness on the trails, but the fear of pushing beyond what I think my body can handle in these short, fierce bursts.

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Trading Old Mantras for New

The mantras that carried me through multi-day races don’t always fit these lung-burning speed sessions. During pyramid intervals, I’m learning to find new words, new rhythms, new ways to push just a little bit harder. I’m trading “just keep moving” for “push harder.” The voice in my head that used to whisper, “one step at a time” now shouts “it’s only three minutes – give it everything.”

Embracing the Unknown

The track is teaching me things the trails never could. Each session, whether it’s striding through progression runs or fighting through the final 200 meters of an 800, is forcing me to grow in new ways. The volume will come back eventually, but for now, I’m embracing this different kind of hard. When people ask about my next ultra, I tell them I’m working on my speed. Some understand, others don’t. But this journey isn’t about meeting expectations – it’s about exploring what’s possible when you’re willing to change direction.

Two years ago, stepping away from ultras would have shaken my identity to its core. Now, I understand that ultrarunning is just one facet of who I am. I’m an athlete first, and athletes grow by pushing boundaries – even if those boundaries are measured in minutes instead of miles. Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is try something new, especially when it scares us. Because at the end of the day, that’s what this sport is about: discovering what we’re capable of, one step at a time. The distance doesn’t matter as much as the courage it takes to toe the starting line. Slowly (or quickly), I have embraced a different hard, one step at a time.

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