Towards the Future: A Bittersweet Ending

One month ago, this is not the ending I wanted to write to what has been a dream season. My season ended on a bittersweet note with a Did Not Finish for the Moab 240 and the Triple Crown. On a zero-sum level, failure was the only label. As I looked towards the future, I realized my journey was only beginning.  First, the Moab 240 needs to be discussed to give closure to the race.

The Problems Start Early

The effects of a long racing season started to hit me just hours into the race. This was the hottest Moab on record, starting at nearly 90 degrees Fahrenheit. Despite this heat, I started slow, and I felt heat ready due to my heat training. However, the heat had other plans. As I approached mile 16, I came into the aid station feeling pretty good. I was 40 minutes ahead of schedule. Still, I didn’t take too long, doing what I needed to do and staying an extra 5 minutes to see my crew. Knowing the course layout, the next time I’d see my crew was in 50 long miles, which included a 24-mile section and a descent in the dark down Jacob’s Ladder. Then, the problems began. Tripping, I erupted into Charlie horses.

Recovering as I Moved

I stayed calm, not worrying about my goal or the time. Having toed the line at over five 200s, I knew this was just the first gut punch. Puking early at Tahoe 200 had prepared me for a bad first night. However, my legs felt stiff no matter how much fuel I absorbed. No amount of electrolytes felt like they were enough. I knew I had made a mistake not getting slightly more at the mile 16 aid station. A cramp forced me into a dangerous fall on Jacob’s Ladder in the dark. The descent down the steep and rocky ladder took me almost an hour. Making it to the Mile 32 aid station, I collapsed in cramps. Working with a medic, I took pickle juice and stayed for an hour to take care of myself.

The 24-mile Section

Then came the 24-mile section. I stayed steady, knowing this would be a long section, but felt strong as I took calories in. The section was dusty and sandy. The darkness added to the isolation. Somehow, I was really exhausted. I took a combination of 1 hour of trail naps. After a smaller nap, I woke up dry heaving. Still, my cramps went away. As the day broke, the heat hit harder than the day before. I found myself with some friends. Taking respite in the shade, we crawled our way to the Indian Creek aid station at mile 67. Though I was happy to see my girlfriend and my friend Jason Bahamundi, I felt tired and needed rest.

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The Ending

I woke up from my nap tired and cramping. With an hour buffer from the cutoff, I knew I had to move according to my plan. Now, I would set off with my pacer Jason and we would not see crew for another day. About 3 miles into a flat and generous section to the Mile 82 aid station, I puked. Then, I puked again. Everything came out of my body furiously. Without nutrition, I started to slow down. Though my heart was slowly breaking, I knew this was the ending. Pulling into the Mile 82 aid station with an hour against cutoff, I sat for 20 minutes and did everything I could. In the end, I decided to drop out of the race. I did not finish (DNF).

A Bittersweet Ending

Being driven back in the early hours of the morning by a friend, I was numb. Reaching the Airbnb, I just wanted to see my girlfriend. She gave me a hug and I went to sleep. After several hours, I made my way to the race headquarters. Over the course of the next few days, I processed everything with a variety of emotions. How could this season come to an end like this? During one instance, I simply cried because I had done everything I could to succeed, but knew failure was always a possibility in this sport. As our days at Moab came to end with volunteering and cheering on friends who finished, I went home.

Though this was a bittersweet ending, I couldn’t dwell on the what ifs. I had completed so many difficult races in one calendar year and I was proud of myself. My frustration came from my realization that I was capable of so much more. Feeling all the emotions, I looked towards the future. It was time for what was next. And so, one chapter closed and a new one beginning in my life journey.

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