Transforming From DNF To Personal Growth: Finding Joy in the Journey
At 37, Landon Hildebrand discovered a new passion that would reshape his understanding of personal challenge and success. Unlike many athletes who start running early, Hildebrand’s journey began as a midlife exploration—prompted by health concerns and a desire to understand his own capabilities. He could not have foreseen what would transpire. Landon was able to figure out that success is not always guaranteed. Like many of us he has had to figure out how to transform success and failure, such as a DNF, into personal growth.
“When I started I thought: This is a perfect age to go through a midlife crisis and find something healthy,” Hildebrand recalls. His entry into endurance sports wasn’t about immediate perfection, but about curiosity and self-discovery. Starting in his local forest, mostly walking due to being out of shape, he gradually found his way into running through a local run club.
A First Race Unlike Any Other
His first significant race was a winter 30k event in temperatures of minus 15 Celsius. With non-articulating knees from 12k onward, Hildebrand could have easily given up. Instead, he persevered, finishing what many suggested he should abandon. This experience became a defining moment, highlighting his core approach to endurance sports: “I’m gonna find out and see what I can do.” He became an explorer of his future rather than a product of his past.
Embracing the Unexpected: Understanding DNF
Hildebrand’s journey hasn’t been a straight line of success. He’s experienced multiple Did Not Finish (DNF) moments that have profoundly shaped his perspective. His first significant DNF came at the Canadian Death Race in 2021, a result of complex personal circumstances including job loss and the sudden loss of his beloved dog.
“Are you quitting because you’re not good enough, or are you quitting because you’re smart enough and wise enough to listen to yourself?”
This question became a pivotal moment of reflection. Rather than viewing the DNF as a failure, Hildebrand saw it as an opportunity for transformation and personal growth.
The Psychology of Endurance
As a Registered Psychologist, Hildebrand brings a unique perspective to his athletic pursuits. He doesn’t chase the traditional metrics of success—time, placement, or proving oneself. Instead, he’s developed a radical approach of seeking joy in the process.
“My A goal is how much joy can I experience on each leg of the race,” he explains. This means preparing thoroughly but prioritizing the emotional and psychological experience over pure performance metrics.
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Turning Challenges into Opportunities
When facing another DNF at Black Canyon 100k, Hildebrand transformed what could have been a devastating experience into a beautiful moment of connection with his wife. Even while struggling with a back injury that was causing significant mobility issues, he found joy in the shared experience.
Landon describes himself as a person who likes to pretend that he doesn’t ‘enjoy’ time with other people. He laughs as the words stumble out of his mouth because he knows they aren’t true. With that as background, the opportunity to be in the desert with his wife was sweet despite the back pain and not finishing the race.
Key Lessons from an Endurance Athlete
- Flexibility is Strength: Rigid thinking leads to disappointment. The ability to pivot and adapt is crucial in both racing and life.
- Joy Over Performance: Success isn’t just about finishing; it’s about the experience and personal growth along the way.
- Listen to Your Body: Understanding and respecting your physical limits is more important than proving something to yourself or others.
The Broader Impact
Hildebrand’s approach extends beyond racing. As a psychologist, he applies these lessons to his professional life, helping clients and athletes understand that setbacks are not failures, but opportunities for growth and learning.
Landon Hildebrand’s story of transforming a DNF into personal growth show us that we can find joy in challenging experiences. His journey proves that endurance sports are about much more than physical achievement—they’re a metaphor for life’s broader challenges.
“Running is my testing ground,” he says. “It’s where I test the things I’ve been working on everywhere else that are way more important.”
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