Being a Military Spouse, Running Saved Me. Here’s How

Running has taken me on many different paths in life, but one I didn’t expect was being a military spouse. When you’ve been a runner for years (in my case, about 20 of them), chances are, you can look back and see an evolution in your running journey and depict different stages along the way.

Some of those stages are great! Some aren’t. But if you run through all of them, running becomes the cornerstone. It’s how we triumph, and it’s how we deal with the falls — running helps us pick ourselves back up again.

Finding, Losing, and Rediscovering My Love for Running

My running journey began on the high school track team. Just a month after I learned my dad had died, I stepped on the track for the first time. Looking back at 16-year-old me who kept most things bottled up, especially at home, the track is where I let my body work through tensions and built-up emotions. I gave everything I had in the 100, 200, and 400 meters, and each race became an intoxicating release of energy.

Two years later when I got to college, my heart wasn’t in it. I was more focused on my social life and exploring the world outside of the small town I grew up in. I also battled with some disordered eating habits that were worse during track season. Running began to feel counterintuitive to a healthy lifestyle and I pulled back. In my final year of eligibility as a college athlete, I finished last at a handful of track meets simply so the team had enough women competing to stay eligible. I never even went to practice.

After college, I regained my love for running while working at a running specialty store. Inspired by coworkers and customers training for half marathons and marathons, I trained for my first half. In the years following, I ran a couple of half marathons a year and achieved PRs in various distances that I’m still proud of.

I also met my husband at a run club and established a career as a magazine editor. Life was good. We had a strong community of friends and fellow runners. While I sometimes ran as a stress reliever, most of my running was to train to see what I could accomplish.

Then, about eight years ago, I hit a running low that coincided with becoming a military spouse and making my way through life.

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When Life Flips Upside Down 

Married for just several months, my husband’s military orders took us from Phoenix to Spokane, Washington. He was cross-training for a different career in the Air Force, which meant many stressful weeks and months away.

I was alone. No family. No friends. I left behind the career I worked for years to get into. As if that wasn’t enough, physical symptoms from chronic stress began cropping up and made running miserable.

We quickly entered one of the worst winters on record, and the snow never seemed to stop. The walls closed in. Life felt dark, and I couldn’t bring myself to look for the light.

Then one day in early April, the snow had melted and I ventured out for a run. I found a trail along the Spokane River, not far from our apartment. Running along that singletrack path, I soaked in so much beauty — more than I’d seen in the past seven months. I was slow. But my pace didn’t matter. All that mattered was the beautiful trail I’d found and that there was so much more to explore.

It’s exactly when I realized I was going to be OK.

Running Is the Cornerstone

My husband and I spent 10 of the first 12 months of our marriage apart while he went through training. After that, he was gone one week every month for several years, plus a deployment in 2020. We had our challenges during those years — we nearly ended things.

Stressed? I ran.

Needed a mental break? I ran.

Felt powerless? I ran.

And I also ran when I was happy.

My runs weren’t fast, but it didn’t matter. I ran.

The military lifestyle isn’t what I was prepared for — not in the slightest. A common phrase we hear from people outside of the military is, “You knew what you signed up for.” No one knows. And that’s the truth. Over the years, you find out.

Deployments come up unexpectedly and ruin future plans. Orders drop out of cycle or get canceled. You buy a house, make it a home, then turn around and sell it. You spend holidays and birthdays alone. You try to go with the flow, but the flow reroutes to throw you off again.

Building Community, Wherever We Go

Running is not a necessity. But running is more than an outlet to endure life’s twists and turns. It’s also how my husband and I explore the new areas we move to and how we develop a community.

We met at a run club in Phoenix and joined a run club in Spokane. Today, we lead a run club in Georgia. And we’re about to leave that run club to a fellow military family when we depart to our new home in Colorado.

In Colorado, you can be certain, I’ll be running in good times and bad — with a run club, when my husband is away, and when we’re together.

Running has played many roles throughout my life. It’s what I turn to when I need to lift myself up, and it’s what I focus on when I want a challenge. But running, truly, is what saved me during my first year of being a military spouse.

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