Fueling Without Fear Before Racing

I have talked about dealing with disordered eating. It is not something that I have been able to ‘cure’ which means it will pop-up at various times. One of those times was during the lead up to the Oakland Marathon. Working my way through carb loading and disordered eating was not on my bingo card for that weekend.

The Reality of Carb Loading

As everyday athletes, we know that getting in carbs prior to a big event, even in training, is important to performance. Having the energy to move your body for hours on end is important to also enjoying the event.

So, we calculate the number of grams of carbs we need to ingest. We look for foods that will help us achieve that goal. Then we start. Some days it feels like the eating never ends. Other times we are a bottomless pit.

For the lead up to the Oakland Marathon, I felt like the bottomless pit but it also came with the guilt. I looked at the tofu tacos, the scones, the tostones and nearly everything else I ate with the question of, ‘will this slow me down’ hanging over my head.

Where Disordered Eating Began

If that doesn’t make sense to you, allow me to give you some context. During my Ironman racing days, I had the mindset that skinny was fast. This was based on the calculation of power to weight for cycling. The measurement is Watts (power output) divided by Weight in Kg (W/Kg).

You want that number to be as high as you can get it. This means that you have two choices. You can increase your power through training or you can decrease your weight by…..you guessed it, dropping kilograms (pounds!)

I was in the gym squatting, deadlifting, lunging, box jumping. There were hours on end on the bike. The power measurement was increasing but the formula wasn’t giving me a number I wanted to. Next option, lose weight. I justified losing weight because I would have a better W/Kg ratio. That was all that I needed.

In the morning, I would eat a huge breakfast. I was fueled for the day I would tell myself. Then throughout the day, I would eat less and less. Training for hours, sweat pouring off my forehead, drenched clothes that was accompanied by a smile that I did the workout.

I would weigh myself the next morning. The pounds were lower and the formula was higher. Success. 

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The Turning Point

One day, while chatting with Lori, we had a hard conversation. We talked about the idea of disordered eating. I was getting in calories but I was ignoring so many signs like shoveling donettes into my face hole late at night because my body was screaming for calories.

I wrote a blog post. It sat in drafts for so long. There were multiple edits but never any publishing. Publicly stating that I was dealing with disordered eating…..are you kidding me? Not a chance.

Then one day, I set the post to publish. Some date into the future. Couldn’t recall what the date was but it had to be that  way otherwise I would never publish this post. Then one day, I went to the website and there it was. Staring back at me. It was published. Out in the open for people to see.

I realized I had to now share it on social media so more people could see it. They could understand that this impacted men too. The response was nothing but positive. It empowered me to continue to talk about it which is why we are here now.

Back to Race Week Reality

The Oakland Marathon was the first stop on the Everyday Athlete Clubhouse 2026 Run Club Tour. I wanted it to be successful in more ways than one. There was the time goals, the community goals and of course the everyday athlete goal of, if I can do then you can to.

I didn’t want to disappoint anybody including myself. This is what made the carb loading so important. It is also what made the disordered eating show up. If you are going to get around the course successfully, you have to be the best version of yourself which includes not carrying anything extra around with you.

The tacos were amazing the first night I had them. So were the tostones. The second night, we went back to the same restaurant. We invited Sabrina to join us so that we could connect with as many people in the community as possible.

I ordered the tofu tacos again. I did not order the tostones. Lori asked why I wasn’t ordering them. I told her I wasn’t interested. That disordered eating showing up because I will always eat tostones.

Redefining Performance

And in a quick moment, I ordered the black beans and rice. I knew I needed the carbs and I wasn’t going to allow my past to get in the way of my future self. Getting around the Oakland Marathon course successfully wasn’t going to be hampered by a bowl of rice and beans. That being said, it would be improved by the bowl of rice and beans.

When the tacos and the rice and beans hit the table, I smiled. I smiled because I was about to enjoy great food with great people prior to a great event. The smile didn’t leave my face all evening. What else didn’t enter the scene all evening? The thought that I wouldn’t perform well because I ate a bowl of rice and beans in addition to the tofu tacos.

The Ongoing Journey

The Oakland Marathon was the first stop. There are 5 more stops in the tour this year. That means that there are 5 more opportunities to carb load prior to an event.

I don’t think that this is the last time I will contemplate the energy needs versus the aesthetics. I do know that I have the strength and knowledge to know the difference. The next step, as always, is knowing that under-fueling is a great way to not perform well.

And as it turns out, how I fueled before the race and during the race allowed me to get around Oakland with a smile while having fun. This is what being an everyday athlete is all about.

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